What do you do?

A few days ago, we went to the bank to open a new account. As one would expect, it was a very uneventful ordeal. All the typical questions were asked, and I answered without hesitation. Except one. For the last five years, the answer to the question “What do you do?” was very simple. I’m a teacher. This time when the question was asked, I stopped for a split second and thought about it. A couple of cheeky responses came to mind: 

I am a Waste Management Specialist. I change diapers, clean up vomit, wash pee and poop stained clothes, wipe runny noses, clean out ears, armpits, fingers, toes, fat folds, and other crevices. 

I am an Entertainer. I have been recently employed as a singer. I have no prior experience (lucky for the rest of the world), and the job demands dancing, putting on puppet shows, acting, and sometimes all of the above at the same time. Beat that, JT.

I am a Restaurant Owner, and have acquired a local snack bar. It is a very exclusive venue catering to a private audience. Refreshment is served 24/7. No, that is not a typo. Only one refreshment is served. 

I am a Quality Control and Assurance Analyst. This position is closely tied to (1) above. I carefully analyze poop to ensure it is the right colour and consistency . Any abnormalities are meticulously documented and reported to head office (ped). 

While any of these responses would have probably made this particular CSR’s day, I opted for Teacher. Because, above all, I am a teacher. Just like every other mother out there. Perhaps not to a classroom full of students, but to one little boy.  I see the look of wonderment on his face as he learns something new everyday. He stares at me with his big brown eyes and I can’t help but happily take on each of my new jobs. 

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